Passing on the Magic
by Cappuccino2go
Summary: Snow is magical. It changes the world. It had always been Lorelai's gift and wonderful things happened to her during that time of year. What does the snow have to offer her this year or does she have other plans for her gift ?


Disclaimer: Not mine

Thanks to Vaso and sorry again for teasing you so much lately with that story.

Summary: Lorelai drops off the character reference letter and it starts snowing. Before she knows it her legs had brought her to the town square and the diner.

AN: This idea came to me when the first snow hit my area a couple of days ago. Combine that with the new Pink album and here you go. Enjoy reading and I hope you like it. I would love to get some feedback on this story – good or bad, I'll take em all.

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Passing on the Magic

Snow and magic always walked hand in hand together in Lorelai's world. Good things happened when it snowed. Everything was magical and the world changed. Snow was Lorelai's personal gift from a fairy godmother who first sent it to her when she was five years old and had to stay in bed for an entire week due to an ear infection. Young Lorelai wished so badly for something wonderful to happen to her. The next morning she woke up and it had snowed. Ever since then snow was her little present.

Lorelai came walking down the stairs and stopped at the last step, listening in to the commotion coming from the kitchen. Rory was back from spending Christmas in London with Logan and now they were finally able to celebrate their own Christmas. Lorelai had declared the holidays to be on hold till her daughter got back. Gigi had spent the days with her mother in Paris and Lorelai was not in the mood to spend the joyful days alone with Chris. The real Christmas spirit wouldn't set in until her daughter was with her and they would be able to go through all their yearly traditions.

Standing there on the first step of the stairs up to her bedroom, listening to Christopher's, Rory's and Gigi's voices, Lorelai still didn't feel right. Something was off and it had nothing to do with the ugly Christmas bows and pillows Chris insisted on putting up to create new traditions for the family. Well ok if she really thought about it, those little details were a big factor in not feeling right but something else was missing.

She had it all this year and still she felt out of place. Her husband was in the kitchen baking and decorating cookies with their daughter. His daughter, her stepdaughter, was a part of their lives and she got to get to know her. Chris and the kids were having fun and excited to create new traditions - but Lorelai?

Lorelai looked around the living room one more time and a shudder ran still down her body at spying the ugly Christmas cushions on the sofa. She sighed and put on her jacket. She listened a few more minutes to the banter and laughter coming from the kitchen before her eyes traveled down to the envelope she was holding in her hand. This was exactly why she felt out of place, why the scene playing out in the kitchen wasn't right, why she didn't feel included whole heartedly, why she wasn't willing to let go of the traditions she built for her and Rory.

Lorelai tugged the envelope into her coat pocket and made her way into the kitchen.

"Hey" she announced her presence.

"Hey. We are making cookies from scratching." Chris said with a chuckle.

"Ha, that sounds appetizing. I'm gonna run out for a sec. I'll be right back." Lorelai replied and closed her coat.

"Okay hurry back _Christmas in July_ screening in 30 minutes." Rory warned her.

"Thought we'd start a new tradition." Christopher said, smirking at her.

"Sounds good." Lorelai said and cringed inwardly.

Lorelai made her way to the front door, listening to the last bits and pieces from the conversation they turned back to the minute she was out the door. She was glad Chris was around to finally spend the holidays with Rory and she had to admit her heart melted a bit when she saw the three having fun in the kitchen, decorating the cookies. He should have done this years ago. He should have been there when Rory was Gigi's age. Why didn't he do it? Why wasn't he there? Does he only put up with Rory now because they are married?

Lorelai shoved her hands angrily into her coat pockets and moved down the porch steps. When she felt the envelope in her hand all questions concerning Chris left her mind and her own words danced in front of her eyes.

_I'm a single mother._

_I raised my daughter by myself._

_Once Luke Danes became my friend in this town, I never really felt alone._

_Once Luke Danes is in your life, he is in your life forever._

_I know from personal experience what an amazing gift that is._

_With his own daughter, Luke wasn't given the opportunity to be there for her first 12 years, but he should be given that opportunity now._

_He offers so much._

"He offers so much." Lorelai whispered into the cold night air.

In the meantime she had made her way to the mailbox. She got the letter out of her pocket and looked at it. She sighed softly and the moment she inserted the envelope into the mailbox, the first snowflakes started to fall out of the sky.

Lorelai looked up into the sky, closed her eyes and breathed: "My present."

Not wanting to go home just yet Lorelai started walking around town and enjoyed her little present for a while. Before she knew where she was heading she found herself standing near the gazebo. The twinkle lights were on already and everything was covered in a small layer of snow. The snowflakes fell silently to the ground and the different colors from the twinkle lights gave the white snow a magical touch.

Lorelai watched in fascination how the flurries danced around in the air before her eyes fell on the diner. Luke was going through his closing routine for the night and was busy scrubbing down the tables and collecting the ketchup and mustard bottles at the same time. Before Lorelai knew what was happening, her feet had already carried her over to the big front window.

The moment she realized where she was standing, a slight feeling of panic arouse in her and she was about to turn around and head in the other direction but something kept her to the spot. She continued watching Luke moving gracefully around the diner, cleaning and preparing everything for the next morning.

As if he had sensed the presence of someone outside his diner, Luke turned around and spotted Lorelai standing outside watching him. He smiled warmly at her and turned back to his cleaning ritual. He grabbed the ketchup and mustard bottles and went into the storeroom. When he came back out again, he was surprised to still see her outside. He frowned slightly, went back to the storeroom to get his jacket and went outside.

"Hey." He greeted her, zipping up his coat to protect himself from the cold air.

"Hey." She simply answered back without taking her eyes off him.

"What are you doing out here?" Luke asked but stopped himself before he gave the town square a good look. "First snow." He said knowingly and turned his eyes back on her. She only smiled at him again and nodded slightly.

"You want some coffee and donuts for your walk through the snow?" He asked and pointed with his thumb into in the diner. "Coffee needs a minute though. Machine's turned off already."

"No I'm good but thanks Luke." She returned and let her eyes travel around the square for the first time since Luke had been standing in front of her.

He watched her for a few seconds, puzzled about why she was there but amazed at the same time about her fascination about the snow. It had come late this winter and although he had grumped at her in the past and called her nuts for being crazy about frozen water, he still loved how her eyes started to light up when the first flakes fell out of the sky. The sparkle in her eyes, the joy in her steps and her lifted spirit this time of year evoked a warm and calming feeling inside him. It made him happy to see her happy.

"Ok but if you change your mind; you know where to find me." He said and turned around to go back into the diner. "I need to get back in and finish closing up." He explained.

"You remember the time I told you about me and snow?" She asked all of a sudden, making Luke stop and turn back toward her.

"You mean when we watched the stupid re-enactors getting ready to freeze their butts off in the snowstorm?" Luke asked stepping closer to her. Lorelai still surveyed the town square.

"It's tradition Luke and yes I meant that night." Lorelai replied, rolling her eyes slightly at his grumpy attitude towards town events and traditions. She turned her focus back on Luke, who was now standing right next to her, eyeing her warily.

"Remember that I told you about the first snow and how it's my little present from some fairy godmother?" She asked him.

"Yeah I remember the story of the bad ear infection and having to stay in bed all week and you wished for something wonderful to happen just for you and then it snowed." He recalled the moment.

"And ever since then only wonderful things happened to me when it snowed." She said wistfully.

"Did you already forget the tree falling on your jeep incident?" He asked her questioningly, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah but Jack Frost made it up to me later." She returned with a knowing grin on her face. Luke couldn't help but smile at the memory along with her.

"Yeah well you and snow go way back." He tried to play it down and shoved his hands into his trousers pockets. He averted his eyes and shoved one foot over the layer of snow.

"I want to give my present to you this year." She whispered and looked back at the gazebo, not having the courage to look him in the eye.

"What?" Luke asked perplexed. He wasn't sure if he heard her right.

"My gift is that wonderful things happen to me and this time I want to give that to you." She said louder this time. "You need it more than I do and you…" She stopped, took a deep breath and finally turned her eyes toward him again:"…you deserve it." She finished in a whisper.

"I don't understand." Luke replied in the same soft voice, looking at her intently.

"I dropped the character reference into the mailbox earlier and the moment I did, it started to snow." She explained. "It's a sign Luke and I just want to give my present to you. My present to you and April because wonderful things happen when it snows Luke and I told the snow to trade me in for you."

"Thank you Lorelai." Luke replied sincerely.

"That's it?" She asked bewildered. "No rant about me being crazy and snow not being able to interfere with the judge's decision?"

"Like I said Lorelai, you and snow go way back." He said softly and reached for her hand to squeeze it. "Thank you." He whispered and let go of her hand again.

"You are welcome." She replied just as softly.

They stared at each other for a minute before Lorelai turned her eyes down to her feet. She took a deep breath and then looked back up at him.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

One look into her eyes and Luke immediately knew what she was apologizing for. It was amazing how well he could still read her. There was a time where he had lost track of all the signs or where he ignored them because it was too difficult for him to deal with. He pushed so many things aside the moment he had learned about April and over the last nine months he had wished so many times to go back and do it right but he knew that was impossible. He lost her. He lost them and there was no going back.

"Lorelai." Luke started but she stopped him by holding up her hand and signaling him to let her finish first.

"I had a hard time at first finding the right words for that letter but then Rory and I met you at the mall and you talked about the past and all the gifts you gave Rory. All those memories came back to me and I was anew amazed about how much you gave that kid. My kid and you weren't even obligated to do so. You just did. You were there for her over all those years. When there was a birthday, Christmas or when she graduated. You were there and I never really appreciated it.

"At first I was glad there was someone watching out for us. Making us feel welcomed and not totally alone in this world but after a while I took it for granted. I took you for granted and I probably even used you without realizing it. You have always been amazing to Rory and to me. Whenever I needed you, you were there. You got me. You caught me when I was falling. You believed in me when things didn't look good. You entertained me when I was on the outs with Rory."

"You were so incredibly patient with me last year when Rory and I didn't speak. You wanted us to get everything out on the open and talk things out, but you also understood we had to do it on our own terms. There was no use in pushing us and you knew that. You waited for me to come around. You held my hand and you waited and you supported me."

Lorelai stopped for a moment and let a few tears escape her eyes. She took a shuddering breath before she continued.

"I failed you."

"I failed us. It was my turn to be there for you, to support you, to hold your hand, to be honest with you like you were with me. You told me you weren't happy with the situation Rory and I got you into. You told me it was crazy, we were crazy for doing that to each other and I should have done the same. I should have told you earlier how I was feeling. How I was hurting and not bottle it all up till I couldn't hold it in anymore and go all bonkers on you."

"I'm so sorry I failed you Luke." Lorelai sobbed and wiped away the tears that flew freely down her face now with her glove covered hand. Luke didn't know how to react to it all. A year ago he would have just swept her into his arms, held her tight to his chest and whispered words of comfort into her ear but now? He didn't know if he was still allowed to do so or if he had to keep his distance. His hesitance only lasted a couple more seconds before he tugged on Lorelai's jacket and pulled her into his chest. He enveloped her in his big strong arms and let her cry into his chest.

"We both failed Lorelai." Luke whispered after a couple of minutes and when he felt her sobs subside. "I behaved liked the ass of the year after April stepped into my life. I pushed you away because I wanted to handle the situation on my own. She was my daughter, my responsibility and I was afraid once she met you, she would lose interest in the old fart that is her father. I'm grumpy and boring and not good around people but I tried for her and I feared it would all be for nothing once this amazing, colorful and chatty woman steps into the picture."

When he felt Lorelai chuckle slightly in his chest Luke stopped talking and bend his neck to get a look at her face.

"What's so funny?" He asked her.

"First you are not an old fart and second did you get a trophy or something?" She hiccupped from all the crying and then giggled.

"Trophy?" Luke asked bewildered.

"For being the ass of the year." Lorelai stated matter of fact and looked up at him. He loosened his embrace a little to get a better look at her face.

"No but I definitely deserved one." Luke growled. "I'm really sorry about how I handled the whole situation. About not telling you when April showed up the first time and for keeping you out of my life with April."

Lorelai breathed in deeply and buried her face back into his chest, Luke's scent and the smell of fresh snow enveloping her. She had missed his strong arms holding her and she knew it was wrong to be here in his arms right now but this was the first time in a long time that she felt in place. Connected to herself again and the world surrounding her. She was home and safe.

Lorelai took another deep breath before she whispered: "I will never ever be able to do right what I destroyed that night."

Luke stiffened at her words and what they brought back to the surface. After she had told him where she went after their heated discussion in the streets and what she had done, he wanted to hate her. He tried with all his might and was successful for a week or two but he wasn't capable of holding up those feelings. As hard as he tried, he just couldn't hate her. He couldn't cross her off his mind. He couldn't erase the spot in his heart she had taken over.

"I'm so sorry for acting that selfishly and recklessly. For not thinking and for only wanting to get rid off the pain." Lorelai started to sob all over again and Luke's body began to relax slightly. He tightened his grip on her and couldn't help but burry his face in her shoulder, fighting hard to keep his own tears at bay.

"I don't know what went wrong with me that night. Why I could only think about hurting you as much as you hurt me. Why it wasn't enough to just walk away and call the engagement off. Why I had to go to him." Lorelai cried into Luke's chest.

"Because he was the most effective weapon." Luke said in a low voice.

Lorelai shifted in his arms. Luke lifted his head from her shoulder and accommodated his body in order for her to lift her head and look up at him.

"And that's all there was." She said sternly. "There were no hidden feelings for him behind it. I used him and I can't believe I turned into such a horrible person but Luke you have to believe me that I didn't go to him because I still had feelings for him."

Lorelai looked up at him pleadingly. She needed him to understand her point.

Luke loosened his grip on her and stepped back a bit. He placed his hands on her shoulders and breathed in audibly.

"I'm sorry I pushed you into those extremes Lorelai and I get the point you are trying to make here and it changes a few pictures into more pleasant ones in my head but…" Luke stopped, reached down to her left hand and took the glove off. He held up her hand and pointed at her wedding ring. "And sorry if this is insulting but the man has no taste in jewelry."

"I know." Lorelai exhaled loudly and slumped down her shoulders. "I destroyed us and I knew you would never be able to forgive me for what I did. I didn't know if I was able to let you back in and then you told me we weren't right for each other. That I belonged to someone like Chris and that I should go back to being Lorelai Gilmore and you should go back to being the guy who pours my coffee."

"I didn't deserve you. Not after what I did and like you said I belonged to someone like Chris. I wasn't worth being with someone better. You get what you deserve and I sure don't deserve the best guy out there and I knew I had Chris. He would love me and when he asked me to marry him I knew I had to say yes because looking at our past I knew he would disappear when I said no. I just couldn't lose him as well."

Lorelai shifted from one foot to the other and had to look down for a second. During her talk Luke had removed his hands from her shoulders and shoved them into his jeans pockets. He looked down as well and breathed evenly through his nose. The cold air stung a little in his lungs and he tried to process everything Lorelai had told him.

"I never went back to being the guy who pours your coffee." Luke voiced after another moment of silence. "Why not?" he asked and looked back up.

"Because you have never just been a guy who pours coffee for me." Lorelai replied and looked him straight in the eyes. "You were at the beginning when I first met you but that changed quickly and you became so much more to me Luke."

Lorelai turned down her eyes and shook her head slightly.

"You knew you were more than that to me Luke." She continued in a whisper. "I was ready to marry you, have kids with you and somewhere down that road we lost each other and I knew I couldn't go back to my coffee junkie self and you being my provider."

"You were more and you still are." She said with a stronger voice now, lifting her head and looking directly at him again. "I know I should take what I can get and call myself lucky you even offered that but Luke…" she paused. "…I can't come into the diner pretending we never had what we had and go back to our friendly banter and flirting when my heart aches for more."

Luke took an involuntary step back and looked at her, his eyes wide, mouth agape.

"Your heart what?" He breathed out.

"Aches for more." She repeated confidently.

"I…"

"Your …."

"…aches."

"…more."

"I need to sit down." Luke mumbled and looked around to find a spot where he could drop down and process. The diner steps came into view and Luke moved over there on wobbly legs. Lorelai hesitantly followed him and sat down next to him.

Luke absentmindedly rubbed his thighs with his hands and looked straight ahead. After a few minutes he looked over to Lorelai who gave him a small smile.

"I can't help it." She shrugged her shoulders helplessly.

"But you married him." Luke said unbelievingly.

"I remember someone getting hitched on a cruise when he was a bit tipsy." Lorelai said and winced slightly when she saw the expression on Luke's face.

"You can't compare that Lorelai." He angrily shot back. "The circumstances where totally different and we didn't hurt anyone with our stupidity. It was only Nicole and I."

"I know the circumstances are different but the concept is still the same Luke." Lorelai argued. "You told me you only married her because you thought you'd never had a chance with me anyway. So you took what was offered to you and the same applies to me in some weird kind of way."

"But I regretted the whole thing the moment we stepped off that boat and agreed to get a divorce." Luke countered. "You are still wearing his ring and don't seem to regret the move or that you want out of this marriage."

"I couldn't just call it quits. What about Rory? Gigi? And not to mention my parents." Lorelai cried out. "I dragged them all into this mess and it hasn't been that bad yet."

"Yet?" Luke interrupted.

"Well." Lorelai dragged out and looked down. "It never felt right to begin with but I told myself to keep it together. You got yourself into this situation and you can't disappoint everyone especially Rory but it's been too hard lately. Rory was off to London over Christmas and today they were making cookies in the kitchen. I was listening to their banter and I felt out of place like I didn't belong there. I don't belong there and Chris doesn't belong here. Our little family might seem right to them but I certainly am missing something and that something is you."

"You are my family. The only family I want. The only family I crave and I realized today that I can't be with Chris any longer. I don't have the power to pretend any longer and I don't want to pretend anymore."

"I want for you to get April. I want for you to be able to be her dad on your terms. She is your family and she has missed out on so much already. I want you to be happy and maybe when I got my marriage problem solved, I can focus on myself again and maybe one day I'll be able to be friends with you again if you let me but it's going to be hard because I don't think my feelings will ever change for you Luke."

"I don't want your feelings for me to change." Luke interrupted Lorelai's speech. She looked at him in disbelieve.

"I have been in love with you since the day we met Lorelai. I kept your horoscope in my wallet for years and you can take a guess about where I still keep it?" He told her straight forward. "I acted like a jerk last year and made you question my love for you but Lorelai." Luke turned his body toward her and took one of her hands in his. "I never stopped loving you. I tried to get over you. I even tried to hate you after that night but I couldn't. I said what I said in the supermarket because I thought that I could at least save that relationship between us. You always needed the coffee and I always provided it for you. If I couldn't make the engagement work I hoped I would at least get our former friendship back."

"I never wanted to lose you completely. I wanted you to still come in for coffee. That was my only hope for staying in your life." Luke finished and both were silent for the next couple of minutes, both digesting the information they exchanged.

"What now?" Lorelai asked quietly.

"I don't know." Luke admitted honestly. "What I know is that your heart aches for more. I'm still in love with you, too and you are married."

"Man we sure know how to complicate life, don't we?" Lorelai chuckled and squeezed Luke's hand that was still holding hers.

"Well it wouldn't be us if we sailed smoothly into the sunset." Luke said dryly.

Lorelai released Luke's hand and stood up. She put her hands on her butt and rubbed it slightly.

"Man I think I got frost bites on my ass." She chuckled and watched as Luke got up, too.

"I think I'd better go and take care of some important business." Lorelai said, nodding in the general direction of where she lives.

"Yeah I think that would be a good idea." Luke agreed and moved the steps up to the diner door.

Both hesitated in their next step and without saying a word, Luke moved back down the steps and Lorelai turned toward him. Luke embraced her one last time for this night and Lorelai snuggled as deep as she could into his chest. Both took one last deep breath to inhale deeply and fill their lungs with the scent of the other, hoping it would get them through the next couple of weeks.

Luke hesitantly loosened his embrace and before he let go of her completely, he whispered into her ear: "I'll be waiting here for you."

The End


End file.
